Torture Sticks in LA LA Land

After 17 near heart attacks, 12 changes of clothing in three days, and three years in a row of Jun torture in LA (Kinder, LA to be exact), we moved our annual golf and gambling trip to March instead of June. What were we thinking anyway? We should have done this three years ago! So, there's five of us going, we won't single out the sixth who backed out at the last minute (will we Bay?), and the plan is to stay in my RV, play some cards, do some golfing and tell some lies.

In the course of the past three years, we have set an interesting precedent of having stories to come home with. While none quite compare to the first year, there are some good ones.

Year 1: we blow a tire in Southeast Texas. While sitting there with 5 technology geeks calling spouses to Google the nearest tire store, we pull off the frreway into what we later found out was...a tire store! As luck would have it, they closed and the last person left probably within five minutes of our arrival. Again...picturing five techno-geeks on cell phones and laptops, we try to find a tire repair place...when what drives by? "Bob's Emergency Tire Repair" truck with a big 800 number right there on the side. Needless to say, by the time we get through to them, "Bob" has already arrived at his next job. So, long story short, he repairs our tire...in a competitor's tire shop parking lot, and we're on our way.

Year 1: Later that night, one person in our party sits at the only open spot (to the right of me), plunks down $30 and walks away with over $1100...within 7 minutes. Four of a kind on Let-It-Ride. He was in bed within 30 minutes while the rest of us...um...stayed up a little later. :)

Year 1: One in our party, on the golf course, hits his next shot from the fairway (an odd situation for him, trust me :) ), heads to his cart and grabs his cup of water. Next thing you know, the drink is being spit out all over the place! What happened there? Well...during the course of te hit from the fairway, a tree frog had decided to cool off...in his cup! He did not notice until the deed was done.

Year 1: So...on a golf course at a casino., you might find a 19th hole which is NOT the bar at the clubhouse. Here, they have a short par 3 with about 12 tee locations, and three pin placements. Well, we made our wagers (closest to the pin was the game of the hour). One person in our party hits...off the green to the left. Second hits, on, but well short of the pin...perhaps 20'. Next person right of the green. Last person, on the green, left of the pin, pretty close in distance to the first person on the green. So...in his infinite wisdom...the first on the green boldly claims "Hmm! I sure hope when we get up there that I'm a good six inches inside of you." - 'nuff said.

Year 1: The...um...recipient in the previous story sleeps on the kid's blow-up Barbie matress. He's in touch. The two stories are not related by the way. Don't read into that. :)

Year 2: Couldn't get an early tee time due to a tournament that morning. We tee off at 2:30 PM...in LA...in June...anyone have the number for 911? That was miserable. Throw together a night of fine beverages, a night which lasted well into the 5:00 AM hours, wait til 2:00 in the afternoon, walk and ride through what surely must be He...er...heck itself, and watch the fun times! Never again in the afternoon...not in June anyway.

Year 3: We discover Craps. Never have we had such fun and everyone made a killing...at least an 8x in winnings...except one person who didn't find his stride until Sunday morning. Learn Craps...don't be afraid...it is truly a good time. Walk into a casino...listen for the people having the most raucus, loud, fun time and head straight there...ten to one it'll be a craps table.

So...that's plenty for now. We'll update with what happens this trip next time! Off we go!!!